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The Art of Humour


Woody Allen, The Art of Humor No. 1

Most of Woody Allen’s films deal with recurring themes on relationships, sexuality, literature, psychoanalysis, and often portray a self-reflexive neurotic writer in New York City. I am a great fan of his films and adore his intellectual, sarcastic and self-deprecating sense of humour. I have compiled some of Woody Allen’s funny and insightful quotes that were taken either from his interviews or from the characters of his movies.


If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.

I took the speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.

I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

This year I’m a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?”

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.

It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. 


About ljiljana havran

English language teacher (General & Aviation English), passionate about learning and teaching. Curious, adventurous, a lifelong learner. Love: good books, music, lots of dance.

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